22 October 2004

Escalators are not hard, people.

I don't know whether I'll continue with this thing, or how I intend to use it if I do. But I have created it for the sole purpose of conveying the following urgent message to the world:


Now, if you are missing a leg or you suffer from severe osteoporosis or something, you're off the hook. But otherwise, this is not a difficult procedure. You do not need to stop and stare down at the emerging slats and then align your body so that it's perpendicular to each one and then carefully step forward with your body weight perfectly centered. You do not even have to break stride. Just step on the damn thing, anywhere. There is virtually no way to fuck this up. Even if your foot winds up on the groove, which is rapidly metamorphosing into an edge, I promise you you will not fall over. Repositioning yourself is an automatic process that requires no thought, coordination or effort. You cannot fail. You will not fall. Just step on.

Thank you.